~Welcome To American Trap Talk~
"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."
"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?"
"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature."
"I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
~Welcome to American Trap Talk~
"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."
"I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money.""
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
"How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand."
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night"
"Practice makes perfect.....But nobody's perfect......so why practice?"
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things"
"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."
"One should love animals. They are so tasty."
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
"The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it."
"Don't steal. The government hates competition."
~Welcome To American Trap Talk~
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends"
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!"
"It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end."
"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."
"Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose."
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead."
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Courage is being scared to death ... and saddling up anyway.
Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow children to come back home.
~Welcome To American Trap Talk~
Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek.
Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.
Every dog has his day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weak-end.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I'd rather live with a good question than a bad answer.
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up
Love your neighbor - but don't pull down your hedge
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far
That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery
I have met a lot of hard boiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder"
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."
"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong."
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
"God must love stupid people. He made SO many."
"Atheism is a non-prophet organization"
"We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control."
"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it."
"Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children."
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
"How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
"The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room."
~Welcome To American Trap Talk~
"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."
"You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."
"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."
"I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Laugh at your problems, everybody else does."
"You're never too old to learn something stupid."
"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."
"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."
"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."

American Trap Talk

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Aug 28, 2017 11:09:18 GMT -5
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Shoutbox

Law Dog: Lake still coming up lost a lot of land to the waves so far hope it will flow over a field and cut a new drainage soon. Jul 9, 2020 8:31:25 GMT -5
jarentz: I'd like to take some of that water off of you Law Dog,Hot and dry here! Jul 9, 2020 18:07:07 GMT -5
Law Dog: The rain is not bad the hail sucks. Jul 10, 2020 21:57:36 GMT -5
AuthorTrapper: Our forcast says 109, 110, 106, 101, 100, 99, 100, 99, for the next 8 days. We could sure use some prayers for rain! Jul 13, 2020 18:26:07 GMT -5
Law Dog: Got my truck back $4,000 in damages they did a great job on it Jul 14, 2020 15:51:32 GMT -5
jarentz: That's plenty warm AuthorTrapper! Glad your truck is fixed Jerry. Jul 14, 2020 19:35:48 GMT -5
AuthorTrapper: jarentz, you want an egg cooked on the roof?! Jul 16, 2020 10:40:13 GMT -5
frerotte: Rained here today first in a while we needed it. The farmers were combining the wheat this week too. Jul 16, 2020 17:52:05 GMT -5
jarentz: 100 here today, going to be a hot one laying stone tomorrow. Jul 19, 2020 19:42:23 GMT -5
frerotte: Got a break in the weather only 84 here today and nice breeze off the great lakes Jul 21, 2020 12:26:27 GMT -5 *
Law Dog: Wife home from getting her other knee done so I will be a servant for the next several weeks. Jul 21, 2020 17:21:28 GMT -5
frerotte: Jerry remember how often she looked after you and it will seem like fun Jul 21, 2020 19:24:21 GMT -5
jarentz: Good luck taking care of your wife Jerry! Rain and wind here today. Jul 22, 2020 18:07:17 GMT -5 *
Law Dog: She’s doing better then the last one she got done I’m impressed with her get up and go this time. Jul 23, 2020 21:52:38 GMT -5
frerotte: 85 here today. Went fishing in the Niagara River caught 12 Gobi's, a rock bass and one small mouth. I fed the Gobi's to a mink that was running around and begging for food. Escaped ranch from the color (black). Jul 25, 2020 17:56:34 GMT -5
AuthorTrapper: Got me 2 new totes for trapping! One for lure & bait, and one for setting equipment! Jul 27, 2020 13:21:44 GMT -5
jarentz: Good Evening all! hot and humid here.{ Come on fall} Jul 29, 2020 19:05:42 GMT -5
jarentz: Evening all! Aug 2, 2020 19:05:19 GMT -5
Law Dog: Well after 7 years the pet skunk died the other day she was a hoot she will be missed old Abby. Aug 3, 2020 7:44:59 GMT -5
AuthorTrapper: Sorry, Lawdog! Aug 3, 2020 15:30:23 GMT -5